Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Randomize
