was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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