i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
