im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
