6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize