Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
