just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
