Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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