It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
