So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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