I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
it's like iHOP with fire
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
