Tell her she can't have a vagina
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
