I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
