Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
