Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
She even gives head with a lisp.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
