whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize