Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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