After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
accomplished twins. life is a go
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
