Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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