they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I am one with the molecules
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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