i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
