your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
