ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
