Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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