that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize
