My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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