I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
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