I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
