We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
