dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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