Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
