Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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