FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
