Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize