hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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