then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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