To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
