He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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