HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Randomize
