I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
