yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
