My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
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