"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
