could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
