how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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