I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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