They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
