Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
PANTIES FOUND
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