I have demons in me.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
