She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
