I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
