Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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