..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
