Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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