but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
