Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
He had one of those small greek statue penises
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
