You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I'm passing your future prison.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
