It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
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