omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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