Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
wrigley field is MILF paradise
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
