I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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