She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I enjoy the company of your penis
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
